Sunday, December 27, 2009

Big Apple of My Eye

I want to know how
you got to be so cold
Out on Canal Street
I watched you sell your soul

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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Smile!

I really love this Guess shirt, can you tell? Haha

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Sunday, December 13, 2009

As of yesterday, my hope in people was restored.. Amazing.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Hi, my name is...

"Volunteering leads to a more active lifestyle both physically and mentally which reduces risk of chronic conditions"

I totally agree. My best friend & I had a discussion about where we have volunteered, what we did, why we did, and how it made us feel. It's a very rewarding experience. I like to make a difference in someone's life, even if it's just giving them an hour a day of my time. Michelle & I never knew until recently that we were volunteering at the same animal shelter 30 minutes from here; and that every year we were both volunteering during the same holidays at different shelters & homes. It's nice to have someone share the same experiences as you.
I really want to go back to tutoring kids who have a harder time comprehending subjects than their fellow classmates. It hurts to watch them struggle. I remember tutoring a young boy when I was a senior in high school. I tutored him for a week for his first math test.. he received a C. When I got the test back, I was devastated for him. Was I not doing enough? Was he not comprehending me? Was I moving too fast for him? But what was shocking was that he and his mom were HAPPY. Happy with a C? As his mom told me, Matt never gotten a C in math. He was a D/F student. A C was monumental; it was a step closer to an A. And I was told I was doing GREAT. How humbling that was.
Each time I'm told "Thank You" I feel my heart growing bigger & bigger. That is why I've been trying to spread the word about helping charities & causes. I've been diving head first into this project with #VAW. I feel that just helping one person would help thousands after her. And I do know all too well how it feels. I want to be the help for someone that I never got. I hate even saying "I". I know this is a "we" effort & I am so grateful to be part of this movement. I've finally found what I needed to do since I was 14. My passion might be history, wanting to be a curator, but my calling is this. I've found Natalye. And boy does it feel WONDERFUL.

Imagine

Music, the universal language.. Everytime I watch, I tear up...

Friday, December 4, 2009

rant rant rant

I wish people would quit snooping around on my facebook/twitter/blog so they can use my words and thoughts against me for their own vendettas. I wanted a blog to say what I wanted without inhibition. Guess I can't even have that. Leave me be. I didn't say anything malicious or bad about anyone, and my thoughts are mine and not the thoughts of all my friends. I've always said what I wanted to say and I never back down when I believe, truly, in something. Hate me for who I am, it doesn't bother me. Someone is gonna love me where you hate me. I'm not pretending to be someone I'm not, and I am not covering up lies that are catching up with me. Don't use me as a scapegoat cause of all that. Karma got you, I didn't.

I try to be the best friend I can be to my friends. I try to look out for ALL of them. I didn't know doing that would make me seem like a bad friend. But like my guy friend said, some friendships weren't meant to work. I'm okay with that, but don't ever say I was a bad friend. That shit really bothers me.

But tonight, I didn't get killed or hit. That's all I really care about. I don't care what's being said about what I supposedly have done and am still doing. I know I didn't do it. If you don't believe me, that's fine. Like I said, I know I am not going around doing anything. I'm just doing my job, breathing and going home.

With that little rant, I am going to bed 5 lbs lighter. I'm gonna dream of my Monster & the next time he comes home. I'm gonna dream of ways to help these battered women in ways that I was never helped. And I'm gonna dream of this $700 modeling paycheck coming to me in 2 weeks. My life is looking up when someone is trying to knock me down. But then again, isn't there always someone in life trying to take your spot? Word.